How many members should I correspond with at one time?

Dear Anthony,

What would be an acceptable number of members to be corresponding with on Ave Maria Singles at any given time? Should I contact only one member at a time and then move on to another, or should I correspond with many and then, once there is a connection, politely stop with the others?

Your question is a very good one, and an important one. It does not have a black-and-white answer, I'm afraid. It really depends on what you are comfortable with. I definitely encourage members to interact with more than one person at a time, and only the amount of people that they can comfortably handle having dialogue with. Yes, as one member becomes more interesting to you, begin to politely tell others whom you are less interested in that you need to stop corresponding. Tell them the truth. Everyone on the site should know that everyone else is doing the same thing; namely, interacting with other members at the same time in order to determine which person they want to invest more time and energy in. Here is an example of a polite way to stop corresponding with someone:

Dear [Name],

I'm so glad to have had the opportunity to correspond with you, but I need to stop corresponding at this time. There is another member I would like to spend more time getting to know. I am not sure if it will go anywhere further, but I believe I have to give it more of my time and energy. I am open to continuing to be in correspondence with you if you would like, but I felt it was important to tell you this. If you prefer not to correspond any further, I understand. I will be praying for you, and I ask that you pray for me. Thank you again for the times spent writing. It has been very flattering.

God bless you,
[Your name]

You can adjust this type of note in any way you wish. It really depends on whether you want to leave room or not to correspond again should it not work out with another member. If it did not work out with the other member and you wanted to get back in touch, you simply contact this person and say, "Just wanted you to know it did not work out with the member I told you about. I would love to correspond with you again, if you are open to it," and see what happens.

Some members correspond with many people at one time, and some can handle only one person at a time. Again, it all depends on what you are comfortable with. I just always ask that members not overextend themselves to the point of not being able to reply to a person in a timely manner. That would be rude, so we want to avoid that happening. Just at least say, "Got your message and will get back to you soon, thank you," or something like that. If you find it gets overwhelming, then decrease the amount of people you correspond with at one time and find your comfort zone.