February 14th is S.A.D.: Single Awareness Day

Every year around Valentine’s Day, I get approached to be interviewed for articles being written about love and dating, or by people who want to talk about how Ave Maria Singles helps singles on Valentine’s Day.

For example, I was just interviewed for my weekly spot on the Son Rise Morning Show on Sacred Heart Radio, and the questions for this week had to do with Valentine’s Day and my thoughts about how single Catholics can make the best of this day if they do not have someone special in their lives. During that interview, I basically said that I like Valentine’s Day, but don’t like the pressure that people put on others when it comes to the gifts part of it. Why should a man be made to feel guilty about not getting flowers, candy, cards, or anything else that might be expected? If a woman does not feel loved by her man throughout the year, then there is nothing that Valentine’s Day can do to prove love that lasts. And if a woman DOES feel loved by her man throughout the year, why should anything that happens on Valentine’s Day make a difference? It makes no sense to me that there would be women upset by something they feel is lacking in the experience of Valentine’s Day from the man in their life.

So I guess as long as there is not undue pressure put on men, Valentine’s Day is a fun day of the year that can be a great excuse to do something special for someone you are dating, or engaged to, or married to.

For those who do not have someone special of the opposite sex in their life, this day can be a torture; a day that gets in your face to insult you with “Sorry, you have no one special, so this day does not apply to you.” Which brings me to the title of this article. I recently heard a single person refer to this day as “Single Awareness Day”, or S.A.D. I laughed when it was said because it is a great, sarcastic title for a day that should be the exact opposite of what the title implies. Unfortunately, it has a lot of truth to it. I know, because year after year I hear volumes of single people complain about Valentine’s Day and are bitter, when you know very well that if they did have someone special in their lives, they would be loving this holiday.

Single Awareness Day. That really is what Valentine’s Day is. Those in love don’t need Valentine’s Day to confirm or approve their love. But those who long for love do reaffirm their desire to find someone to give their heart to, and to be loved in return. It is a day that reminds the unmarried person that they are, indeed, still single, and they should be reminded of that fact again; and perhaps a bit more “in your face” than usual. You are still single, and Valentine’s Day seems to have nothing to do with you. You can give valentines to friends, siblings, parents, coworkers, or anyone else you might feel inspired to give one to in the spirit of the day. Why not? You can still have fun with this holiday. And after all, a day to celebrate love does not have to be exclusive to romantic love, now, does it? However, there is no escaping that the collective social meaning behind the celebration of such a day as Valentine’s Day is that it is about romance, and exchanges of hearts in the romantic sense. And this is why it hurts when this day approaches and there is no one special romantically in your life.

In all seriousness, though, I would hope that Single Awareness Day (a.k.a. Valentine’s Day) would be a day to renew the hope of finding love. A day to recommit to the inspiration from God that you want to find love and enter into the vocation of marriage. A day to express deep faith that one day it will happen. It is this hope that keeps us prepared and disposed when love does come.

In the meantime, we can practice being prepared and disposed by renewing our love daily for Jesus Christ, who is the Heart of our hearts; the one desire of our affections; the One who authors the movements of human love and affection, and Who will be the reason behind any love we actually have to give. God is love. Human beings share in that love to the degree that we allow ourselves to participate in God’s love. And the true love that is worth anything in marriage is one that is unconditional and self-sacrificing; one of service, always reaching out to give. We can certainly practice this kind of love every day as we await that one person to come along whom we will recognize as being worthy of the love we have to give to another exclusively in marriage.

So it is a S.A.D. day. But don’t be sad. Be full of joy. Display to others that you have the life of Christ in you, and the love He wants to share through you. Renew your commitment to be the love you are called to be in your future marriage, and practice sharing what love you have to give with others as it is appropriate to share as an unmarried person. It’s Single Awareness Day! If you are single, be aware that you are preparing for your future spouse, and can renew the love in your heart for Jesus, and pray for your future spouse with all the love you long to give him or her.

Happy Valentine’s Day!