Choose a Truth Seeker
Single persons have lots of opinions about what things they should be looking for in their future spouse as they go through the dating process. Most of their opinions derive from their checklist of things they want in a person they believe could make them happy. Having a checklist is a normal thing. We all have them. The danger, however, is that the checklist is ever-growing; constantly undergoing revision and additions with each passing year. On the checklist of every single Catholic person is that this future spouse believe in God. More specifically, they want someone who is faith-based, and lives a Sacramental life (goes to Mass, Confession, etc.). This is usually at the top of the checklist. That’s good! If this is on your checklist, then I believe you have your priorities straight. Rarely, however, do I hear of something being on this checklist that I feel is imperative, and an uncompromisable item. I would like to propose that you put “Truth Seeker” on that list, and put it in the Top 3.
What do I mean by “Truth Seeker”? I mean someone who fundamentally and habitually seeks the truth, desires to discover truth, and wants to live truth. What is the truth that should be sought? Jesus Christ is the Truth. He said He was the Truth, and He also said that the truth shall set you free. People of truth are capable of being saints in a daily life of sin. What I mean by that is that every day of our lives we face a battle between good and evil, and must successfully endure temptations to do or think wrong, evil things. This daily process fashions us into the saints we are called to become, but every day we fail at it in some way because we all sin every day. The good news is that every day we have an opportunity to grow, even as a result of the sins we commit. That opportunity to grow is available to everyone. If you are a truth seeker, you take every daily opportunity to learn what the truth is in everything you face in that day. A truth seeker wakes up in the morning and asks God what He wants of him or her that day, and asks for enlightenment to the truth so it can be followed. To be a truth seeker means to connect everything to the vertical relationship with God, and the horizontal relationship with our fellow human beings. First, the vertical. We must know the truth, so the truth seeker appeals to the divine for enlightenment of the mind, heart and soul. Second, the horizontal. We are social beings and have a responsibility toward all our fellow human beings because of God who created all things.
Truth seekers ask important questions in order to learn the truth so that they can act accordingly. They are always, always, always “connected”. They make the connection between God and all that happens in their life. To be connected means to have order. This order brings a peace of soul to the truth seeker, and they lead a holy life in every way. St. Augustine defined peace as the tranquility of order. How true this is! That means that a disordered person is not connected to God, and is subsequently living life abstractly. The person who is not a truth seeker compartmentalizes the things and people of their life. They are capable of saying one thing and doing another; of acknowledging truth but not living it; of doing all sorts of things that don’t make sense as a whole; of living life out of context; of being selective about what they will and will not believe. How is this different from the checklist item of wanting someone of faith; who believes in God; who goes to Mass? The sad truth is that there are persons who say they are Catholic, who believe in God, who have faith, who go to Mass or say the Rosary, etc., but still do alarming things like partake in pornography, pre-marital sex, masturbation, unkindness, abusive behavior, resentment, objectification of others, and many other things contrary to fundamental human virtues that make for a decent person.
How can this be? It is because of disconnected living, without a full commitment to the truth. If a person is fully committed to the truth, no matter what their sinful tendencies or weaknesses or imperfections are, they will make progress. The most important reason to marry a truth seeker is because you always (and I mean always) know that this person will, no matter what happens, have God as the higher authority above his or herself Whom he or she must ultimately answer to and must make the primary appeal to. You will get someone who is humble enough to know that he or she cannot just accept their own way of thinking or acting. You will get someone who wants the truth, even if it hurts or requires change in themselves.
This is critical. If you marry someone who does not desire the truth, your marital challenges have the potential of perpetuating without resolve or growth due to the person of so-called faith you are now married to stubbornly content to interpret things by their own power, and conveniently say that they “know."
A truth seeker can say “I was wrong” and want to make up for it. A truth seeker can examine themselves and determine what is disordered, and take the steps to restore order. A truth seeker is quick to listen, and slow to offer opinions as absolutes. A truth seeker respects themselves and others, and does not demand. A truth seeker does not make excuses for themselves, but accepts responsibility. A person who says they believe in God or goes to daily Mass does not guarantee they can be a quality person of character. As you date, beware of the person who will not reflect on themselves and their own thoughts and actions, while being very quick to question yours. Flat out ask the person you are dating if they are a truth seeker; love to discover truth and desire to live truth as they discover it.
Living truth is the path to personal sanctity. I don’t care how many Rosaries someone says, if they are not a truth seeker, they are not living the call to truth as Jesus proclaimed. This is about freedom. We want to be free from error so we can live in peace. The truth will set us free. Seek truth in everything for yourself, and do not compromise “Truth Seeker” on your checklist of “must haves” for a future spouse.
Fulton Sheen on Love and Marriage
Entire FultonSheen.com library
Of course, this makes me think better and slower about myself and to define and keep shaping my own faith in God, and to keep in mind that I need to convey that to anyone I email with, and anyone I interact with, whether in the working environment, school, church, just anywhere I go. Even when you move on with someone Spiritual or Truth Seeker, things will always be full of respect, and there is always room to revisit in the future with a bright smile, and happiness to share how life has changed for each other.
YES, the truth HURTS, but it is such a joy to know that in God there is always an opportunity to change and to grow…and at this point in my life I am undergoing having to face the truth, but at the same time, I am rejoicing that I know God will help me change if I keep pondering on my Faith and Prayer.
I am a volunteer for an organization whose spiritual director is an exorcist (I won’t mention the organization or the priest), and he has said that the moment in which we open the door to just the slightest sinful thing, many other bad sins and habits will get in like in legion, and the only way to get back on track is going to frequent confession, the Eucharist, and the Holy Rosary. Don't open the doors to sin. Who cares what others do, you stay out of it. When you die, the only one you'll have to respond to is to God.
The sacraments go hand in hand with growing in virtue. More than flesh and bones, we have a soul, and we cannot grow in any virtue without the help of God and His grace, and the way to get God’s help and grace is through the means He left us on this earth: The Sacraments and prayer.
I perfectly understand what your point is, Anthony, and you’re totally right on this one.
I just don’t know how well I should stress out the importance of prayer, especially the Holy Rosary every day to receive special help from Our Blessed Mother. Don’t underestimate this. The devil hates Our Blessed Mother, and you need to humble yourself like a little child and walk by her hand. I can’t talk about the personal life of someone very close to me in my family, but I can tell you that the Rosary is a powerful prayer to help in overcoming sin.
For those struggling with those type of sins stated above, I heard a priest once say that we must do little sacrifices every day (such as not eating a particular food that we like, or not adding a dressing or sauce that we like, or finishing a nice warm shower with cold water, etc, to train our bodies and our souls for : “not always what I like and pleases me”), and pray every day, Our Mother in Heaven is faithful to her promises and she promised to help those who would pray. We need to live in a state of Grace, meaning no mortal sin, in order to distinguish between good and evil. Go to confession ASAP if you are struggling with any of the things stated above, receive Jesus in the Eucharist, He is The Grace in Himself, and pray to Our Lady to help you.
Most importantly, pray for someone you know who is struggling with this. As Christians and brothers and sisters in Christ, we are responsible for each other. One of the good deeds of Mercy is to pray for those who are lost in sin. We have to pray for one another.
If you don’t have much time to pray, start with the devotion of the 3 (three) Hail Mary in the morning, and before you go to sleep to obtain purity and ask our Lady to help you be pure throughout the day, she promised many saints, her help, with that devotion, and she is not going to lie to us. That is a powerful devotion (believe it or not). Use the means that the Church and Christ Himself is giving you to stay out of sin, especially in these critical times, where there’s so much confusion and supposedly “religious” people do things that are sinful. Avoid bad company and friendship that is leading you to sin, pray for them, but you can’t afford to lose your soul just to avoid losing a friend.
PLEASE, Here is a link to an AWESOME Homily I heard online that will help you arm yourself against sin. It will tell you what specifics things to do to stay out of sin. Please, make some time to listen to it ALL, it’s worth it, especially the middle part of the homily:
http://www.audiosancto.org/sermon/20100418-Saving-...
That’s just my humble advice,
God bless
Thank you very much Anthony
-Aristotle
YAY! I love this! I am so glad that someone is standing up and speaking the truth! Bravo!!! After going through my own life’s journey of ups and downs, that consistent love of wisdom and seeking out Truth…kept me in the Church and gave me a faith that I could actively pursue. While attending a Catholic University, my philosophy professor and I would chat daily about the ironic state of the polis. I have point blank challenged people with the question of “Is there absolute truth? Can it be known? How does that affect your personal life?” I have gotten better answers from random guys at bars then I have from some 365+Masses a year Catholics. I make lists often, I add things as seen fit and cross things off accordingly. So of course, I made my first list of the “acceptable man” (since in my rational mind the ‘perfect man’ did not exist) when I was 12 years old. Someone who wanted to discover the truth; was my #1. Everything else on that list has been deleted or moved according to priority…but the number one must have qualification has remained the same my whole life. At that time, I was too embarrassed to let my mom frame that doodled on paper, but years later I finally allowed her to scrap booked it. As my life continued, I thank God for the sheer gift he has given to me in my own desire of truth. And the graces that flow through the Mediatrix that have given me the strength to go where that search leads me.
For something that seemed to me to be so obvious, it has been a great challenge to find someone who shares the same foundation. I have dated highly disciplined men who have respectable ideals, but who are missing that innate desire to continually seek out truth. For someone like me it can be highly painful, to be in those situations. Because truth will lead one to Christ. That realization flows across all aspects of your life and will bring a person into greater fulfillment of oneself seeped in a life of grace and Truth!
Okay, I am descending from my joyful soap box now, but I just sooo appreciated that someone else really “get’s it”. Thank you!
Este é um texto que eu gostaria ter lido na "descrição de uma mulher", mas nunca li. Já li milhares de perfiis em sites similares ao Ave Maria Singles, ao ponto de poder dizer que já "certifiquei-me que não há mais perfis para ver" (em língua inglesa, portuguesa, e espanhola; e perceba que isso abrange muitos países).
Não existe uma mulher assim. Ou se existe é "uma em 100 milhões", e que não fala "inglês, espanhol, português" (ou, se fala, certamente não está solteira, ou ainda não está na idade de pensar em matrimônio, pois, senão já teria cogitado participar de um site como o Sve Maria Singles). Uma mulher assim não existe. Basta se ter a percepção do mundo a nossa própria volta... Ninguém é assim. Nem na nossa própria família existe alguém assim (e eu tenho família enorme).
Só por um milagre uma mulher assim pode existir. É por acreditar em milagres que eu continuo procurando.
Acreditar neste milagre não é possível com romantismo ou paixões, mas sim sendo extremamente racional e persistente. É preciso muito, é preciso ser "Truth Seeker" para encontrar um "Truth Seeker", invariavelmente. Isso é mais do que qualquer relação matrimônial que se conhece "fora da Bíblia".
Um abraço.
Jeverson S.